


Teach Your Heart

by nihonlove



Series: ongoing connection [4]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angry Shiro (Voltron), Developing Relationship, Episode: s02e08 The Blade of Marmora, First Kiss, Flashbacks, Injury Recovery, Insomnia, Keith (Voltron) Has Abandonment Issues, Keith (Voltron) is a Mess, Literal Sleeping Together, Love Confessions, M/M, Medication, Minor Thace/Ulaz (Voltron), Missing Scene, Mutual Pining, POV Third Person Limited, Protective Shiro (Voltron), Relationship Discussions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-23
Updated: 2019-02-23
Packaged: 2019-11-04 12:16:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,032
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17898284
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nihonlove/pseuds/nihonlove
Summary: Seeing Keith go through the Blade of Marmora Trials has made Shiro realize some things that have been festering beneath the surface. After, they get a chance to talk about them.





	Teach Your Heart

**Author's Note:**

> This is one of the immediate sequels to "Forged by Fire". There's going to be at least one another, possibly more, depending on my mood.
> 
> Special thanks to chibichocopaws, kryptidkickflip and CosmicCurator for beta-reading this ❤︎.

_Shiro couldn’t sleep._

_It wasn’t that unusual of an occurrence, not since this whole adventure had started. There was always so much - probably too much - on his mind. Everything in his current life constantly felt so heavy, like a constant weight of worry on his chest. How could Shiro even go about starting to fix a 10,000-year old war and dictatorship? With a group of about seven people with differing degrees in battle and combat? The mere idea felt foolish and it was just about enough to steal any rest away from him._

_And whenever it wasn’t his worries about what the hell he and the rest of the team were doing, it was his nightmares that kept him up. Shiro didn’t think he’d gotten one night of decent rest since he got here._

_It certainly didn’t help that Shiro’s room felt suffocating around him, too. From what he’d seen of the other Paladins’ quarters, his was the biggest, likely to reflect his role as the leader, but Shiro still found it so unbearably_ small _around himself. Or maybe the problem was that the room was so bare, almost to the point of being clinical. It tended to remind him both of hospital rooms and his cells as the prisoner of the Galra, and neither of those memories were ones he was really eager to revisit anytime soon._

_Shiro didn’t really know how to go on to dealing with changing that though; he really had just as much idea regarding what to do about the state of his room as he had about how to go on fixing the mess the Galra had made of the universe. He only really had the clothes on his back when it came to personal possessions on this ship, and even those had been a gift from Keith. Not to mention it wasn’t as though Shiro had ever been that much of a materialist. He’d always enjoyed a rather minimalist sense of style when it came to decorating any of his living spaces. No clutter, just the necessities._

_But this room lacked_ any _sorts of personal touches, with its bare white walls and single bed. All this room had to suggest that anyone even occupied it, were Shiro’s shoes at the end of said bed, and his vest and belt hung up on one of the few hooks for clothes set into the wall. Even Shiro’s lived-in spaces back on Earth had been more personalized than that, much as they had reflected the fact he never assumed he’d be sticking around for very long for anything._

_Honestly, perhaps that was a part of exactly why Shiro now longed to have something more for himself, to represent his life and existence in this room. Because his original right arm that had given him the most trouble before he’d left for Kerberos had been taken from him, Shiro hadn’t thought much about the lack of pains in his body at first since his freedom of the Galra. But when not even the headaches returned after a few weeks in the Castle, nor did any of his other symptoms seem to resurface, he’d asked Coran to run some tests on his body. He still couldn’t remember all that much about his time with the Galra, after all. He couldn’t be sure of all they had done to him._

_Shiro wasn’t sure how to feel about the fact that the Galra had apparently cured him of his ALS entirely._

_He couldn’t bring himself to be grateful, not when he knew the Galra had only done whatever they did for their own sake; to forge him into their perfect soldier and weapon. Especially not with knowing all they had done to the known universe. But Shiro supposed that he could at least see it as even the slightest of silver linings of all that he went through, no matter how slim. At least this way he and Keith both had one less thing to worry about in this war._

_Keith…_

_Shiro couldn’t deny that his best friend was another thing that seemed to constantly be on his mind these days. He also couldn’t deny that ever since he’d come back, and Keith had rescued him, something had steadily began shifting between the two of them. Although Shiro hadn’t, for a long time, even before he’d left, seen Keith as anything but an equal, whatever they had now was still different to what had been there before. Keith was an adult, and also the one person on this ship that Shiro knew the best and whom Shiro trusted the most. The rest of the Paladins were more Keith’s friends than his own, and Allura and Coran were still fairly unfamiliar to all of them. Shiro had missed Keith while he was away, had missed his friend so much that it had caused him physical pain. So perhaps it was natural that he would start to gravitate towards him even more on this ship with only seven - well, now eight - people on it._

_Shiro had barely noticed it when it first started happening, struck as he had been by Keith’s newly grown beauty when he’d first seen him. It had all just felt so natural, like such a perfect and linear continuation and extension of his and Keith’s already deep friendship and bond. In some ways, Shiro supposed it had been inevitable. He knew soulmates didn’t always have to be romantic, and that he himself had truly believed he and Keith could just be friends for the longest time, but he also couldn’t deny what they had had always been something special. That Keith had, for a long time now, been the most important person in Shiro’s life._

_By the time Keith had rescued him again, as well as protected him and helped him on that rock planet while the two of them were separated from the rest of the team, it had finally hit Shiro just how deep in shit he was. There was no going back now on the way that he felt about Keith, much as he wished otherwise. Keith was just too wonderful, too beautiful and courageous and kind and amazing and all too devoted to Shiro. And Shiro couldn’t exactly put him at a distance to sort through his feelings either. He knew Keith well enough to know how that would look to him, and the last thing Shiro ever wanted was to be one of the people who left Keith behind because of something that was his own issue, not Keith’s. Not to mention Shiro had a strong inkling that he, himself, wouldn’t be able to withstand the distance for long. Keith just meant too much to him, and Shiro could hardly bear the idea of not being around him, even if it had been a realistic possibility in deep space._

_Shiro let out a long sigh, emptying his lungs. It didn’t seem like he was going to be getting much sleep tonight either, with how much his thoughts kept circling around his mind. He might as well get up to try and do something more productive than lay here all night for nothing. Maybe he would head off to the training deck to sweat some of his tension out. Perhaps he could even manage to tire himself out enough to get at least a few hours of rest afterwards._

_Mind quickly made up, Shiro sat up in bed, shifted to sit on the edge of it long enough to put on his shoes, and began to make his way out of his room._

_The Castle of Lions was almost eerily quiet at night like this, the lights in the corridors dimmed and barely allowing Shiro to see where he was going. It made the hairs at the back of his neck stand up, putting him on high alert for the sight and sound of even the slightest oddity. This, too, was far too much like the Galra ships, as much as Allura would probably hate to be told that._

_Even without being as vigilant as he was, it wasn’t at all difficult for Shiro to see the light shining from the crack below of what he recognized to be the med bay’s door, or to hear the muffled voices coming from the other side of it. He blinked, confused as to who besides him could be awake at this hour when they should all be getting whatever rest they possibly could._

_Unable to help his curiosity, he pressed his hand on the touchlock beside the door, causing it to slide open. The light from the room blinded Shiro for a moment, leaving him unable to see temporarily._

_“Shiro?” he heard Keith’s voice speak, recognizing it even in his lack of sight. As Shiro blinked away the sudden brightness in his line of vision, he came to see both his friend and Ulaz present in the room before him. Keith was sitting on the examination table, his feet dangling in the air above the floor, while Ulaz was seated in a chair next to him._

_“What are you doing up?” Keith asked with his brows raised in surprise._

_“I could ask you the same thing,” Shiro said, suddenly growing a little worried. “You’re not hurt, are you?”_

_“No,” Keith said, shaking his head._

_Shiro let out a short, relieved breath. “In that case, you should be resting.”_

_Keith shrugged. “You know me. I’ve never been good at sleeping early.”_

_“Keith has been kind enough to keep me company,” Ulaz spoke up. “I’m afraid us Galra have somewhat later sleep cycles than most of you humans or the Alteans here. I find it rather difficult to sleep at the same time as you.”_

_“Oh,” Shiro breathed, turning towards him. “I’m sorry, Ulaz, you should’ve said something.”_

_“It is alright, Shiro,” Ulaz said, giving him a small smile. “You’re right in that you all need your rest. The night merely causes me to miss Thace, I’m afraid. It was when the two of us would talk the most in our youth.”_

_Shiro clenched his teeth together, not knowing what to say to that. He wished he could tell Ulaz that he and Thace would surely see each other again soon, but from what he’d come to know of Ulaz, he didn’t much appreciate being told empty words of comfort. He was a bit like Keith in that way, actually. They were both so straightforward and honest, almost to the point of being too blunt, and they appreciated direct words and truth over any sorts of lies, even those meant to bring peace or joy._

_Thankfully, Shiro was spared from saying anything when Ulaz turned to Keith, “Shiro is right, however. You should leave for your bed. I have kept you long enough.”_

_“Fine,” Keith said, sounding a little annoyed, but he hopped down from the examination table and stepped over to Shiro instead. “You should go to bed too, Shiro.”_

_“I couldn’t sleep,” Shiro admitted._

_“I can give you something to aid your rest,” Ulaz said, getting to his feet as well._

_“I…” Shiro started, before putting on a smile. “Thank you. That would help a lot, actually.” He wasn’t too fond of drugs to help him sleep, but there were times where he was willing to accept them, and this was definitely one of those instances. He was sick of lying awake and trying against hope to catch even a few winks._

_Ulaz nodded, moving to step over to the nearby cabinet of medicine, and started to rummage through the different bottles of tonics and pills inside._

_“You can go ahead,” Shiro said to Keith, still standing by his side, watching Ulaz work alongside Shiro. “You don’t have to wait for me.”_

_“You sure?” Keith asked, looking up at Shiro from beneath his lashes and bangs. The sight of him like that was more than enough to make Shiro’s heart jump._

_“I’m sure,” he managed, although his voice came out more breathless than he meant it to, giving Keith a smile. “Go on, it’s late.”_

_Keith looked at him for a few more seconds, as if to make sure Shiro wasn’t bluffing, before he nodded. “Good night, Shiro.”_

_“Good night, Keith,” Shiro said, reaching to touch Keith’s shoulder as he passed him, unable to also stop himself from watching his back as he went on his way, right until the darkness of the corridors swallowed him, and the door to the med bay shut behind him._

_As Shiro turned around, he found Ulaz giving him a strange, almost sly sort of smile, holding a small white bottle in his large hands. His smile made Shiro blush, suddenly feeling almost like he was caught doing something he shouldn’t have._

_“You’re very fond of Keith, aren’t you?” Ulaz said, because he really didn’t seem to know even what the concept of the art of subtlety was._

_“Of course,” Shiro said, his voice coming out high and defensive. He felt embarrassingly like a young boy; like he was having to explain to his grandfather why he punched Mark Sampson at school in the fifth grade all over again. “He’s my best friend.”_

_“Shiro,” Ulaz said, sounding serious and a little exasperated. “Forgive me for saying this, but I believe we both know what the two of you have is something other than that.”_

_Shiro could feel his blush darken, but he couldn’t bring himself to give Ulaz an answer. Which probably proved his point well enough regardless._

_“Why don’t you tell him?” Ulaz asked, not unkindly, stepping closer to him. “I believe he is very fond of you as well.”_

_Shiro shook his head. “I can’t.”_

_Ulaz raised an eyebrow. “Why not?”_

_“We’re at war, Ulaz,” Shiro hissed, disbelieving he even had to explain this, and to a member of a resistance movement no less. “I think we have more important things to worry about than romance.” He paused. “Not to mention that, as a leader, I can’t be showing off favoritism to one particular member of my team. I can’t afford to lose focus, not when there is so much at stake.”_

And Keith deserves better than someone like me _, he thought, but didn’t say out loud._ Someone whole.

_“Ah,” Ulaz said, and suddenly he looked almost sad, with his downturned mouth. “You’re that way, then.”_

_Shiro blinked. “What way?”_

_“I merely know someone who shares that way of thinking with you,” Ulaz said, and he sounded almost fond, but also grim. “And of course, it is up to the both of you what you wish to do with your lives, but, personally, I’ve always seen it as such a waste.”_

_His expression softened, taking on a small, wistful smile that Shiro was slowly growing familiar with; growing to know Ulaz only wore it when he thought of one specific person. “For me, Thace has never been a distraction from my cause,_ our _cause. Indeed, he is the reason I can keep fighting with all that I have.”_

 _He sighed. “Sometimes in such an enormous conflict as this one, it can be difficult to see the people amongst all the battles. That is when I think of Thace, and remind myself of why I fight. He gives me strength because I want to make a peaceful and better world for him to exist in. I want that for everyone I know and care for._ That _is what keeps me fighting.”_

_“But…” Shiro started, briefly pausing to consider his words. “Don’t you worry about losing him?”_

_“Naturally, I do,” Ulaz replied. “I am well aware of the danger we are both in. But, that, more than anything, made me wish to seize even this one chance at some happiness for myself. I may die anyday, and so may he, but even so - no,_ especially _so...I would wish for us to live our lives to their fullest in any way possible. It is my belief that in death, we regret the things we didn’t do, much more than the things we did.”_

_Shiro bit the inside of his cheek, averting his eyes to the side. Twice in the same night, he wasn’t sure how to respond._

_“You don’t have to decide now,” Ulaz said, gently. “But don’t you think Keith at least deserves to know he’s loved? The rest of it he can decide for himself.”_

_As Shiro turned to look at him again, he was holding out the bottle he had picked out from the cabinet. “For now, drink this as you settle down to rest. It will help you sleep without dreams.”_

_Shiro reached out and took it. “Thank you.”_

…

Now, in a different time, in a different place but with the same three people in the room, the silence in the Blade of Marmora’s med bay is tense.

Shiro swears he could suffocate from it, from how thick it grows between him, Keith and Ulaz. Shiro almost feels like screaming as loud as he can muster, just to fill the room with anything else except Ulaz’s light steps, the sounds of his hands and voice as he checks, cleans and dresses Keith’s injuries, Keith’s pained little noises when something hurts or when Ulaz asks him to answer a question to further determine if he has brain damage.

Shiro would give anything if it meant not having to be in this situation; with Keith so hurt and clearly still dazed, with this impenetrable silence between them, with Shiro’s own head still swimming with far too much emotion. Despite how gentle Ulaz is with Keith, just the mere sight of Keith’s bloody and bruised body, stripped bare from the skin-tight suit down to the waist, not to mention the defeated, sorrowful hunch of his shoulders are enough to make Shiro question if it truly was worth it for them to come to this base at all.

As the Leader of Voltron, as a Defender of the Universe, he knows it was. Gaining any sorts of allies is of utmost importance for him and his team at this stage in their battle for the free and just universe. For that, Shiro has to be able to set aside his personal feelings and reservations, new and old. They got what they came here for, and that should be the most important thing. He should be ecstatic right now, relieved to have had his efforts and gambles pay off and to have found such a large group of people to aid them; people that can blend in with Zarkon’s own troops and provide Voltron with opportunities and information they could only have dreamed about before.

And yet, one look at the huge bandaged slash on Keith’s right shoulder, just a little above his soulmark, the blank look in his nebulae eyes or his slender frame beaten black and blue, and Shiro can’t help the anger that simmers hot as burning coal at the pit of his stomach. It doesn’t matter that Keith chose to do this for himself. It doesn’t matter that Keith has apparently always had a knife that is Galran in origin. Shiro still wants to fucking beat the _shit_ out of Kolivan; of everyone who dared to hurt Keith, who tried to prevent Shiro from helping him. How _dare_ they claim to be the good guys when what they did to Keith today was little better than what Shiro went through in the hands of the Galra? How can they treat people, treat _Keith_ like this?

It is only through years of training to get his anger to settle, some stealth breathing exercises and the tight grip he has on his knees, that Shiro has been able to keep himself under control. That, and the knowledge that Keith needs him now. He doesn’t need Shiro defending his honor to the Blade of Marmora, he never has. Shiro knows him. That means he also knows what Keith really needs and wants is his acceptance and presence, now more so than possibly ever before, and Shiro is not about to take that from him. Not now, not ever. He made a promise after all, all those years ago. He is not about to break it now.

Shiro takes in another calming breath as Ulaz moves to shine a little light into Keith’s eyes to test his reactions. His heart aches as he watches the pained pinch in the line of Keith’s soft mouth, the weariness and defeat written on his face. Shiro can only imagine what Keith must be thinking right now. So far, he hasn’t said anything he hasn’t needed to say in order to answer Ulaz’s questions. Shiro wishes he would, so much so that it hurts. He would’ve thought, with the way Keith had demanded answers earlier, that he’d take the first opportunity to ask Ulaz about his mother, or ask Shiro about what happened during the Trials. Anything but this eerie silence.

Shiro’s never seen Keith this defeated.

Ulaz turns off the small light, setting it aside on the little table with wheels at the bottom that holds all the rest of his medical equipment, before turning to give them both a small smile. Shiro tries to draw what comfort he can from it. He barely succeeds.

“You’re not seriously injured, Keith,” Ulaz says gently. “No doubt you will be in rather considerable pain for a bit, but some rest and care, and you’ll recover well.”

Keith nods, his eyes still looking blank, his gaze eerie in the way it seems so unfocused. Keith’s eyes have always been so full of emotion, so sharp even at the times he’s relaxed and happy. They’ve always truly been the mirror into his soul; the best way for Shiro to read him has always been through what he sees in Keith’s eyes. But right now, all he sees is weariness and sorrow.

Now that Keith isn’t being poked and prodded anymore, Shiro sees the opening given before him, and decides to take it. As much as he likes Ulaz and is grateful to him, he and Keith can’t really talk while he’s in the room. Despite the fact that Ulaz saw all that Shiro saw before, during Keith’s Trials - and a little because of it as well - the conversation Keith and Shiro need to have is one that has to happen between the two of them alone. Keith’s privacy has been invaded enough today.

But that doesn’t mean Shiro can’t provide Keith with some notion of comfort. They’ve often spoken silently between them with mere gestures, looks and touches. And right now, Keith looks so much like a ship lost at sea that is desperately looking for an anchor that Shiro doesn’t even hesitate to offer him one. He reaches over, and grabs a hold of Keith’s hand, intertwining their fingers and squeezing gently. Keith blinks at the touch at his side, turning his swollen, bruised face towards Shiro. To Shiro’s relief, a little light returns to his eyes, a touch of a movement to his eyebrows and eyelids, into his mouth falling open, indicating surprise.

Shiro smiles at him, squeezing his hand again. He expects Keith’s usual reactions; a smile in return, maybe a bit of pink settling on his cheeks. But all Keith does is avert his eyes, that resigned look returning to his face, as he turns back to look towards Ulaz, completely unaware of the crack his actions create in Shiro’s heart, or of the lump that they form in his throat.

“I understand this must be overwhelming for you. For both of you,” Ulaz says softly. “You must have many questions.”

His words are enough to burst the remnants of anger in the pit of Shiro’s stomach into full-blown flames.

“Did you know?” he says under his breath, voice lowered by the willpower it takes to keep himself from screaming, from demanding answers the way Keith had earlier. It is only because he knows Ulaz is their ally and their friend, and because of his help to Keith, that Shiro even bothers to restrain himself. “Did you know Keith’s mother was Galra?”

“Is,” Ulaz corrects gently.

“What?” Keith whispers. Shiro only barely manages to avoid jumping in surprise at the sudden sound of his voice.

“Is,” Ulaz repeats, giving him a small smile. “Your mother is still alive, Keith. She is a member of the Blade. I’ve known her for a long time.”

He turns to Shiro, his brows furrowing as he grows more serious. “As I said to Kolivan before, I couldn’t be certain about anything regarding Keith’s heritage until now. All I had were my personal suspicions and my logic. I had no way of confirming what I knew. Even if I had, I wasn’t sure it was something Keith was ready to hear quite yet.”

Shiro clenches his teeth together. This is the first time he’s ever felt like Ulaz’s blunt manner could use a little bit more subtlety. He can’t quite deny he’s probably right - Shiro’s not sure if anyone could ever be ready to hear they’re half-alien - but it doesn’t mean he likes the fact that Ulaz is saying it right in front of Keith.

He squeezes Keith’s hand again, hoping to offer some support. And perhaps through that, or perhaps because his mind is clearing up a little now that they’re actually talking, but Keith looks up at Ulaz and says, “You said you know my mother.”

“I did. I do.” Ulaz nods.

“You said you could tell me more at the arena,” Keith says, a curious lilt finally entering his voice. It’s a relief to hear after the previous numb sorrow.

“Yes,” Ulaz says, nodding again. “Krolia is your mother’s name. She joined the Blade not long after I did, so I have known her for many deca-phoebes.” A small, wistful smile overtakes his face, and Shiro can almost guess what he’s about to talk about next. He has only seen that particular smile on Ulaz when he talks about one certain person. “Krolia joined us the same time as Thace did. She and him have grown up together, regarding each other as siblings. With Thace as my mate, I have come to view her as my sister as well.”

Shiro swallows around his suddenly dry throat, blinking his widened eyes rapidly. If what Ulaz is saying is true – and he has no reason not to believe him – Ulaz is practically Keith’s uncle. Shiro had thought that the specific fondness and patience Ulaz generally displayed towards Keith was just because Keith was the first one of the Paladins, after Shiro, to regularly try and reach out to Ulaz and to talk with him on the Castleship. Who, much more so than Shiro, thanks to his friendship with the other Paladins, was able to start building something akin to trust between Ulaz and the rest of their team. But perhaps, if Ulaz suspected Keith was the son of the woman he considers to be his sister, there was something more to his attentiveness towards him than that. More to the way he encouraged Shiro towards Keith.

Shiro honestly doesn’t know how to feel about that.

“How did she get to Earth?” Keith asks, voice still coming out softer than Shiro expects. “How did she meet my Dad? How can you be so sure now?”

“Our blades take on specific shapes when they’re awakened,” Ulaz says. “When yours transformed into its proper form, we were all able to recognize it immediately. It is undoubtedly Krolia’s blade. It is also the only explanation that makes sense and fits all the pieces.”

“What do you mean?” Keith asks, voice coming out a little stronger now, and Shiro has to hide a smile for it. There’s the Keith he knows. He squeezes his hand in joy. “What do you know?”

“Roughly twenty deca-phoebes ago, after Sendak found the Red Lion, the Galra Empire managed to engineer a way to pick up on the Lions’ signatures from close range. Zarkon had thousands of scouts searching for them,” Ulaz begins. “Knowing the importance of keeping the Lions out of his hands, the Blade of Marmora made sure to embed agents in as many of those scout teams as possible. Your mother was one of them.”

Ulaz pauses, watching Keith’s reactions along with Shiro. Keith’s face is tense now, and he’s holding tight onto Shiro’s hand, biting down on his already abused lip, not even seeming to care that it must hurt, his eyes almost feverish in their brightness.

Ulaz continues, “A few deca-phoebes into her mission, Krolia sent in reports that her team was searching for the Lions in a far away galaxy, barely touched by any intelligent life.”

“The Milky Way,” Shiro murmurs. “Our solar system.”

“It seems likely.” Ulaz nods. “Not long after that, for a period, we lost all communication with her. It was as though she’d vanished. We assumed she had been compromised and likely killed.”

Ulaz closes his eyes, taking in a deep breath, before he carries on. “But then, a few deca-phoebes later…she reappeared, completely unharmed and well. She rejoined our ranks soon after, and that is where she has remained to this quintant.”

Keith lowers his eyes as they light up to a dangerous degree, his teeth practically gnawing at his lower lip as his shoulders begin to tremble, his hand shaking in Shiro’s own. Shiro shifts a little closer to him on the examination table, and, hoping to provide Keith with some additional touch and warmth, presses their thighs together. He can feel Keith’s whole body trembling like this, and he wishes he could just hold him right now, but he’s not sure if that would be welcomed with Ulaz still in the room. So for now, this is the best Shiro can do.

“I am sorry, Keith,” Ulaz says softly, his eyes surprisingly gentle as he reaches out a hand to place on Keith’s left shoulder. “I wish I had more answers to give you. But none of us ever knew what happened to Krolia while she was away. She wouldn’t even tell Thace, her brother, or Kolivan, our leader, what she did or how she returned. We had no indication to your existence before now.”

“Where is she, anyway?” Shiro says, and just barely manages to not make his words come out as a hiss. Looking at Keith now, and knowing all he’s been through, even before this day with his mother’s abandonment, makes his blood boil. He know he can’t stop Keith from meeting his mother if he wishes to do so any more than he could stop him from fighting today, but it doesn’t mean the idea of the woman who left him all alone in the world for so long makes Shiro happy.

“She is currently undercover,” Ulaz says, calm as ever, even in the face of Shiro’s anger. “I have no doubt, however, that she will appear soon. Kolivan will likely already have sent a communication to her.”

Shiro can’t help the snort that escapes him at that. “Kolivan. Right.”

“Shiro,” Ulaz says, though not unkindly. “I understand how you feel. I do. Kolivan is certainly stern and very different in the manner he leads than you. But he is not a bad man. This is simply what the life he’s led has made of him.”

He smiles a little, and there is a fond edge to it, almost like a younger brother talking proudly of his older brother, Shiro would assume. “I’ve known him a long time as well,” Ulaz continues. “He is not as uncaring as he first appears. I’m sure you will find that out in time, especially now that we know who Keith truly is. I do not blame you for your anger, but I hope I can still ask that you give Kolivan a chance to prove himself. You may find you have more in common than you think.”

Shiro highly doubts that, but he closes his eyes, takes in a steadying breath, and forces out, “I will. We’re all allies now, after all.”

“Indeed.” Ulaz nods, and his eyes are kind.

Ulaz pauses momentarily to give Keith a short look, before walking over to the nearby glass cabinets in a few soft, nearly soundless steps. He opens one of the cabinet doors, rummaging through it briefly with small, deliberate movements of his hands. He grabs something inside, closing the cabinet, and turns around to face them again.

As Ulaz makes his way back towards them, Shiro can see he’s holding a small transparent bottle. There is a little bit of clear blue liquid swishing at the bottom.

Ulaz holds the vial out for Keith. “I must go to the others. Drink this. It will aid your healing and help with the pain. It will make you tired, so settle down in one of the patient beds here before you take it.”

“Thank you,” Keith says softly, voice coming out a little hoarse, reaching out his free hand to take the bottle from Ulaz. 

Ulaz nods again, first at Keith and then at Shiro, before going on his way and taking his leave of the med bay, his movements as soft and almost silent as ever.

And now Shiro is alone with Keith for the first time in hours.

The silence between them suddenly feels even heavier than before, when it was at least broken by Ulaz’s presence and movements. Shiro hadn’t thought it possible, but he can’t deny all the ways this new brand of quiet makes the back of his neck break out in cold sweats. This, too, is so strange. He and Keith haven’t always felt the need to talk when they’re alone, but they’ve always been comfortable in the silence between them. It’s never been like this before, so awkward and tense that it makes it a little difficult for Shiro to breathe. His only real anchor in this moment is Keith’s warm hand in his own, but even that feels slightly hollow when it is the only connection he seems to have with Keith, now.

The worst part is that there are honestly so many things Shiro wants to say to Keith, but it feels like the silence is suffocating any possible words right in his throat before they even have the chance to properly form. He wants to ask how Keith’s feeling. Wants to know if there is anything Shiro can do to help him right now, to make him feel better. Wants to reassure Keith that everything is going to be okay. Wants to ask him about the illusions in the arena, and why the vision of Keith’s biggest hopes and fears would be of Shiro saying such horrible things to him, treating him in such a cruel way. To ask if that is how Keith really thinks Shiro feels, the way he thinks Shiro truly is.

He wants to tell Keith…

“You don’t have to stay, you know,” Keith speaks up, cutting into Shiro’s train of thought and shattering the silence so suddenly that once again Shiro barely avoids jumping in surprise.

“You can just go…negotiate with the Blades or something,” Keith continues, and his words come out more like a sigh. He shifts the bottle Ulaz gave him around a little in his hand, making the liquid dance inside. “I’ll just drink this and sleep for a while. You don’t need to be here.”

“Keith,” Shiro says, the gentlest he can make himself sound as he squeezes at Keith’s hand still held in his own. “I want to stay here. I’m not here because I have to be; I’m here because I want to be.”

“…Why?” Keith asks, so quiet and broken, Shiro almost misses it. Keith lowers his head, his long dark hair shielding his expression from Shiro for the most part, but he can still feel the tremors in Keith’s body next to him, can see the hard line of his mouth as he struggles for control over his emotions. The sight of it makes Shiro’s whole being hurt, his blood carrying his heartache across his whole body and limbs. His throat burns as he looks at Keith, more in pain with each passing second.

“Why would you want to?” Keith murmurs, his voice strange and cracking under the pressure. “How can you even…how can you even look at me now? How can you stand to touch me?”

“Keith…”

“I’m just like them, aren’t I?” Keith cries out, sounding like each word hurts as he finally turns to meet Shiro’s eyes in a swift, pained motion. His face looks just about the way Shiro expected, raw and bristled with emotion, his galaxy orbs shining with the starry tears he’s likely been holding back for the past hour. His reddened eyes contrast with his bruised skin, and he’s almost too beautiful for words in his open vulnerability.

“I’m Galra, just like the people who took you and hurt you and _tortured_ you, and…!” A single tear slowly escapes Keith’s right eye, falling down on his swollen cheek. Shiro doesn’t hesitate, moving quickly to gently wipe it off with his fingers because he again can’t seem to be able to find his voice.

“Stop!” Keith screams, as though in pain, recoiling away from Shiro’s touch. He moves even to take his hand in Shiro’s away, but Shiro holds on tight. He’s not going to let Keith go, let him think Shiro somehow detests him now or finds him anything but his wonderful self that he knows down to his core. 

“No, I _won’t_ stop,” Shiro says, voice low and serious. “Not when you’re like this.”

“I told you a long time ago, Shiro,” Keith hisses. “I don’t need your pity.”

“It’s not pity!” Shiro cries, leaning forward to wrap his right arm around Keith, finally bringing him in for an embrace like he’s wanted to do for hours. He makes sure to keep his hold lighter than he otherwise would to spare Keith the pain from his injuries, but he keeps holding onto his hand, burying his own right hand into Keith’s long strands of hair around his shoulders.

“Keith, you’re in pain,” Shiro hisses into his ear. “Seeing you like this...it’s killing me. I hate that I can barely do anything to help you, to make all of this easier on you. All I could do before was just _watch_ as they beat you to hell, and now I can’t even…”

“What?” Keith whispers, shifting in Shiro’s embrace enough to look him in the eyes again, eyes wide and mouth open in clear confusion. “But…in the arena…”

“That wasn’t me, Keith,” Shiro says, moving to cradle the back of Keith’s head, forcing his emotions away enough to be able to put on the softest, most reassuring look he can muster on his face. “It was an illusion. I was still at the observation deck with Kolivan.”

Keith’s eyes grow even wider as he takes in a sudden breath of shock. As he releases it in slow, shuddering sounds, some of the tension seems to leave his body.

“It really…it wasn’t you?” he murmurs, so soft it nearly breaks Shiro.

“It wasn’t me,” he says, pulling Keith against him once more, pressing a kiss to his hair, just because it feels like the right thing to do. “Keith, how could you even think that? Did you really think I could ever say things like that to you? To do things like that to you?”

“I don’t know what I thought,” Keith admits softly into Shiro’s shoulder. “At that point, I honestly wasn’t sure what was real and what wasn’t. I thought whatever I saw might just be a dream.” He lets out a huff, and Shiro can feel his breath on his shoulder. “It wouldn’t have been the first time.”

Shiro chooses not to comment on that. Instead, he says, “I would never treat you like that.” He pulls Keith a little closer, clutches him tighter in his arms. “Keith, I would _never_ blame you for wanting to learn more about your past. Or about me and Adam, or about _anything_ that hologram said. I told you before, whatever happened between us wasn’t your fault. I made my own choice and so did Adam.”

“I know,” Keith says. “Intellectually, I do know that, I just…”

Shiro moves to stroke down his hair, giving his head another kiss. “It’s okay,” he murmurs into Keith’s locks. “I just wish you would’ve talked to me about it. About all of it.”

“You had enough to worry about.”

“No,” Shiro says, pulling slightly back from the embrace to look Keith in the eyes again. “There’s never so much that I can’t include you. Don’t ever think that.”

Keith lets out a sound that is a mix between a laugh and a sob, closing his eyes and lowering his head. “Even if I’m Galra?”

“Even then,” Shiro says, putting as much conviction to his voice as he can muster. “Keith, nothing has changed. We may not have known you were Galra before now, but you’ve still always _been_ Galra.”

Keith winces, and Shiro hurries forward, “Let me finish. What I mean is that Galra or no Galra, you’ve always been the same. You’ve always been Keith. That’s not going to change.”

“What about the others?” Keith chokes out, sounding like he’s about to cry again, so Shiro pulls him back closer into his arms. He can feel Keith clutch at his back like a lifeline, and swallows around the lump in his own throat. “What will they think? What will _Allura_ think? She still barely tolerates Ulaz, what the fuck is she gonna do about _me_?”

“You’re not Ulaz,” Shiro says, firm even through his heartache. “You’re all our friend, our family, Keith. The team is not gonna turn against you for something like this, something you had no control over.”

Keith trembles in his arms, sniffing softly. Shiro strokes his hair and his back up and down, hoping to soothe him.

“It’s gonna be okay, Keith,” Shiro murmurs into his ear. “It’ll be okay.”

Keith takes in a shuddering, pained breath. “I’m just so scared,” he admits softly. “What if everyone will hate me?”

“Then they can answer to me.”

“Shiro!” Keith laughs, as if the whole notion is ridiculous to him.

“No, I mean it,” Shiro says, moving again so he can meet Keith face-to-face, brows furrowed in seriousness. “No matter what, I’ll stand with you, Keith. I won’t let anyone hurt you anymore.”

“But…” Keith starts, blinking. “But you’re our leader. You should…”

“I don’t care,” Shiro says. “You mean more to me than that.”

Keith’s cheeks turn red at that, but his eyes and brows pinch in pain. “You can’t put me above everything and everyone else in the universe, Shiro.”

“I’m not,” Shiro says. “I want to save the universe _because_ of you. You help me carry on, even when it is hard. It is because of you that I can be the leader that I need to be; because I know I can always rely on you to have my back.” He squeezes Keith’s hand, still clasped in his. “I can’t do this without you, Keith. Without you, there is no me to lead or fly the Black Lion. Without you, there is no Voltron.”

He smiles a little. “And I would like to think the Red Lion agrees as well, with how hard she fought today to keep you safe.”

Keith manages a laugh at that. “I’ll have to thank her when I see her again.”

Shiro smiles wider. “She is quite protective,” he says. “She loves you so much. She must’ve felt so powerless, being able to feel your pain without being able to come to your aid.” He takes in a breath, steeling himself. “We have that in common, I suppose.”

“I’m sorry you had to see what happened,” Keith murmurs, lowering his eyes.

“I was so proud of you,” Shiro says, lifting his right hand to cradle Keith’s cheek, mindful of his bruises. His heart rate grows in his chest, his hands begin to sweat, but he presses on. He’s going to do this now. He has to. “It was just hard...to watch the man I love suffer so much, when I wasn’t able to help.”

Keith looks up so fast it almost gives Shiro whiplash, his eyes suddenly wide and bright, his mouth falling open in a gasp. “What?”

“I love you, Keith,” Shiro says, twining a bit of Keith’s long hair between his fingers, stroking his cheek with his thumb and squeezing Keith’s hand with his own left one that carries the soulwords he got from Keith. His heart is hammering in his chest. “I want you to…I want you to know that. No matter what, you should know that.”

Shiro is not the same man he was before he went on the Kerberos mission. He has more baggage than he can ever really ask any other person to handle. He is damaged, broken in ways even he, himself, doesn’t fully understand yet.

But he loves Keith, and Keith deserves to know that. Ulaz was right; Shiro can’t deny him at least the knowledge of how he feels, not after what he witnessed today. Keith has always given him so much, and keeps giving him so much without ever making Shiro feel like a burden. He deserves to know how much he’s loved, deserves this chance at happiness. And Shiro can admit, at least to himself, that he’s tired of denying himself the joy of being with Keith as well.

“I was…afraid, before,” Shiro admits, a little breathless from emotion. Keith’s eyes are shining, his cheeks flushed, and even with his bruises, he’s never been more beautiful to Shiro. In his dear face, he finds the courage to carry on, “Truthfully, I still am. But I also could’ve lost you today. I could still lose you any day. I can’t afford to waste time thinking what might go wrong. It might cause me to miss out on something great.”

A single tear slips down from Keith’s eye, and Shiro wipes it off gently with his thumb, never breaking eye contact with him. “I want to be with you, Keith. If…if you’ll have me.”

“Shiro,” Keith breathes, a few more crystal tears falling down on his cheeks, before he leaps forward to hold Shiro in his arms once more, almost knocking him over. “Are you crazy? How can you even ask that after what you saw today?” He lightens his hold a little, but only so much that he can press a soft, sweet kiss onto Shiro’s jaw. “You’re the only one I’ve ever really wanted.”

The sigh that falls from Shiro’s lips is one of joy and relief. Keith is right in that he already basically knew from what he’d seen today, but it’s still on a different level to hear it directly form Keith’s mouth. He can’t help the huge smile that spreads on his lips. He feels like his whole being is filled with sunlight, and he’s almost dizzy with it; with all his emotions.

Slow and gentle, Shiro meets Keith’s eyes, and his heart jumps when he sees everything he feels reflected on his face, in his orbs that shine like galaxies. He softly begins to lean forward, looking for any sign of hesitation from Keith, but all he gains is Keith closing his eyes and raising up to meet him in a kiss.

Keith’s mouth is soft and sweet, warm and wet against Shiro’s. His lips are a little chapped from dehydration and taste faintly of blood from his ordeals, but Shiro doesn’t care. Keith opens up so eagerly for him, a little clumsy in his technique due to his inexperience, but it only serves to captivate Shiro more. And Shiro is gentle with him. He makes sure not to push for too much too soon. If he is right, this is likely Keith’s first kiss, and Shiro wants it to be special, and something Keith can cherish for the rest of his life. There are flames of passion alit in Shiro’s core, urging him to move faster, to suck Keith’s tongue inside his mouth and just _have_ him, but Shiro pushes them down in favor of his more tender feelings. War or no war, death knocking at their door at every moment or not, Keith deserves to be treated right. Shiro will be damned if he moves too fast and ruins this for both of them.

Still, it brings him joy to find that Keith is just as much a quick study in kissing as he is in anything else, quickly starting to mimic the way Shiro kisses him and meeting him at his pace. The feeling of him, of how trusting and at ease he feels in Shiro’s arms, warms his heart, and he wishes he could just keep Keith in his arms and hold him close and safe forever. But Shiro also knows that, in itself, would be asking for too much, too fast, especially right now. Keith is still hurt and must be exhausted, too. Shiro should let him rest.

And so, Shiro slowly retreats his lips from Keith’s, already missing their contact as he does, and can’t resist giving him one last peck before pulling away properly. He presses his forehead down against Keith’s, gazing down into his sparkling eyes, his flushed cheeks and lips. He’s so beautiful and it makes Shiro’s heart lurch in his chest, makes his head swim and his cock twitch in his pants.

He clears his throat. “You should drink your tonic and get some sleep,” Shiro says, voice still coming out more hoarse than he intends. He averts his eyes, feeling his cheeks heat up. “It’ll still be a few hours before we can leave here, and you’ll need to be as well as you can be by then to fly us out.”

Keith licks his lips, and it’s a far too distracting sight. Shiro forces himself to ignore it and to focus on convincing Keith with his eyes instead.

“…Fine,” Keith says, mouth downturned in slight annoyance that Shiro finds adorable on his face.

“Would you like me to stay with you?” Shiro asks gently, because he knows Keith won’t.

Keith averts his eyes, but the darkening redness on his cheeks tells Shiro all he needs to know even before he says it. “Yeah, I’d…I’d like that.”

“Would you mind if I lay down with you?” Shiro says, leaning forward to give Keith’s cheek a soft kiss. “I think I could use some sleep too.”

It will also give him an excuse to be close to Keith, to keep him safe.

“Yeah,” is all Keith says, but it’s accompanied by a shy smile to go with his red cheeks, and he’s so cute Shiro can’t help but give him another kiss.

After a few more sweet pecks, Shiro forces himself to move out of Keith’s space and letting go of his hand momentarily so he can remove his bulky armor, leaving him only in his undersuit. In the meantime, Keith also puts the upper part of his Trial suit back on. Shiro helps him latch the back of it shut, before retaking a hold of his hand and finally hopping down from the examination table. He holds onto Keith’s hand even as he also gets down, and simply leads him to the nearest of the many round, nest-like beds built into the med bay’s floor. Keith is limping slightly, favoring his left leg, so their joined hands at least serve to give him a bit more stability as he walks; something to hold onto like a crutch.

They settle down to sit on the bed, and Shiro finds is surprisingly soft and comfortable beneath him. Keith seems to agree, because it only takes him a single yawn to get him to lay down on his side, finally letting go of Shiro’s hand and curling into himself. He almost looks like a cat in his bed, and the thought makes Shiro smile in affection.

Keith shifts his head to stand upwards long enough to drink the tonic before setting the bottle down beside him on the floor around the bed. Shiro takes it as his cue to properly lay down with him, pulling open the pile of blankets at one of the corners of the bed. He tucks it carefully around Keith and himself both, settling himself at Keith’s back with his arm around him. He keeps a bit of distance between them to not make Keith uncomfortable, but it seems Keith is having none of that because he quickly burrows himself closer to Shiro’s chest, into his warmth, and takes a hold of his hand, placing a small kiss to the back of it.

Shiro’s heart just about melts.

“Good night, Shiro,” Keith murmurs, sleepiness now clear in his voice, his eyes already falling closed.

“Takashi,” Shiro whispers, taking his chance and pressing a kiss to Keith’s neckline. “Call me Takashi from now on, okay?”

He knows Keith understands what that name means, knows there was only one person who used to call Shiro that. He hopes it might reassure Keith, to really drive home how Shiro feels about him, and that he wants what they have to be something real. ‘Takashi’ will now be Keith’s and Keith’s only. No one else will have it anymore.

For a moment, though, Keith doesn’t say anything, and Shiro somewhat nervously wonders if he might already be asleep, if he heard him at all. But then, almost too quiet to hear, he hears a whispered, “Takashi…”

Shiro hides a smile into Keith’s shoulder, pressing another secret kiss there. His first name has never sounded so sweet. Keith, and the way Shiro feels about it, lifts it to a whole different level of beauty.

“Sleep well, Keith,” Shiro murmurs. “I’ll be here when you wake. I promise.

**Author's Note:**

> Writing Shiro's protective anger was fun >:).
> 
> You can find me on [Tumblr](http://nihonlove.tumblr.com/) and [Twitter](https://twitter.com/nihon_loid) ;).


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